Does Your Cat Own You?

At the store, do you pick up the cat food and kitty litter before you pick out anything for yourself?

Did you buy a video tape of fish swimming in an aquarium to entertain your cat?

Do the Christmas cards you send out feature your cat sitting on Santa’s lap? Does your cat sign the card?

Do you accept dates only with those who have a cat? If so, do you eventually double-date with the cats to see how they get along?

Do you admit to non-cat owners how many cats you really have?

Do you buy more than 50 pounds of cat litter a month?

Do you climb out of bed over the headboard or footboard, so you won’t disturb the sleeping cat?

Do you cook a special turkey for your cat on holidays?

Do you feed your cat titbits from the table with your fork?

Do you give your cat presents and a stocking at Christmas? Do you spend more for your cat than you do for your spouse?

Do you have more than four opened but rejected cans of cat food in the refrigerator?

Do you have pictures of your cat in your wallet? Do you bring them out when your friends share pictures of their children?

Do you kiss your cat on the lips?

Do you microwave your cat’s food? Prepare it from scratch?

Do you put off making the bed until the cat gets up?

Do you scoop out the litter box after each use? Do you wait at the box with the scoop in your hand?

Do you select your friends based on how well your cats like them?

Do you sleep in the same position all night because it annoys your cats when you move?

Do you think it’s cute when your cat swings on the drapes or licks the butter?

Do you watch bad TV because the cat is sleeping on the remote?

Does your cat “insist” on a fancy Sunday breakfast consisting of an omelet made from eggs, milk, and salmon, halibut, or trout?

Does your cat eat out of cut crystal stemware because you both watched the same commercial on television?

Does your cat sit at the table (or ON the table) when you eat?

Does your cat sleep on your head? Do you like it?

Does your desire to collect cats intensify during times of stress?

When people call to talk to you on the phone, do you insist that they say a few words to your cat as well?

When someone new comes to your house, do you introduce your cat, by name, to them?

Will you stand at the open door indefinitely in the freezing rain while your cat sniffs the door, deciding whether to go out or come in?

Would you rather spend a night at home with your cat than go out on a bad date?

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