Cat definitions

Aquarium: Interactive television for cats.
Cat: 1. A lapwarmer with a built-in buzzer. 2. A four footed allergen. 3. A small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist. 4. A small, furry lap fungus. 5. A treat-seeking missile. 6. A wildlife control expert. 7. One who sleeps in old, empty pizza boxes. 8. A hair relocation expert. 9. An unprogrammable animal.
Cataclysm: Any great upheaval in a cat’s life.
Caterpillar: A soft scratching post for a cat.
Cat Scan: To look for a new cat.
Dog: A cat device for running practice.
Door: Something a cat always wants to be on the other side of.
Human: An automatic door opener for cats.
Impurrsonate: To act like the cat.
Kitten: A small homicidal bundle of fur on legs; affects human sensibilities to the point of endowing the most wanton and ruthless acts of destruction with near-mythical overtones of cuteness. Not recommended for beginners. Get at least two!
Purrade: An organized march of cats.
Purradise: The garden of Cats.
Purramour: A cat lover.
Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something.
Purraphernalia: A cat’s personal belongings.
Purrch: Any favoured feline napping spot.
Purrchase: Anything bought for a cat.
Purrgatory: A houseful of kittens.
Purrmission: A feline hunting expedition.
Purrpetual: Everlasting feline love.
Purrplex: A house with two or more cats.
Purrson: A male kitten.
Purrsuit: The garment your shedding cat rubs against just as you are leaving home to go to an important meeting.
Purrverse: A poem about a wicked kitty.
Yawn: A cat’s honest opinion openly expressed.

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